Conference Details 2024

Session 1: KEYNOTE
Helping Children Flourish in Challenging Times

Gordon Neufeld

Dr. Gordon Neufeld is a Vancouver-based developmental psychologist with over 50 years of experience with children and youth and those responsible for them. A foremost authority on child development, Dr. Neufeld is an international speaker, a bestselling author (Hold On to Your Kids), and a leading interpreter of the developmental paradigm. Dr. Neufeld has a widespread reputation for making sense of complex problems and for opening doors for change. While formerly involved in university teaching and private practice, he now devotes his time to teaching and training parents, educators, and helping professionals. His Neufeld Institute is now a world-wide charitable organization devoted to applying developmental science to the task of raising children. Dr. Neufeld appears regularly on radio and television. He is a father of five and a grandfather to six.

We all want our children and students to thrive - to become all they were meant to be, despite the challenges they may face. But how is this to be accomplished? What conditions are required for optimal functioning? What experiences are essential to the unfolding of human potential regardless of the specific handicaps they may experience? Dr. Neufeld will put the pieces together to reveal rather surprising answers to this quintessential question of human development. In challenging times, this knowledge is even more important to keep in mind. A consciousness of the irreducible needs of children and youth is a much needed antidote to a society that has become outcome driven and a culture that has lost its intuitive wisdom.

Session 2A
Help! My Teenager is Stuck in the Basement! Helping our teens to flourish.

Robin Brooks-Sherriff

Robin is a Registered Nurse in Calgary where she has worked in various capacities with families and clients for over 26 years. As a nurse, mother, wife, sister and daughter she has been tremendously impacted by Dr Neufeld’s paradigm since she happened upon it many years ago. In particular the Adolescence material has informed her current work with teens and young adults in regards to their sexual health. The insight into the emotionally intense adolescent years gained through Dr. Neufeld’s approach is immensely helpful when offering a guiding hand through the maze our teens and their families face.

Truthfully, teens have long gravitated to the corners of our houses in search of solitude, to sleep and figure life out (while listening to strange music) but never have there been so many fears and distractions that keep them there. Our teens are anxious, seeking endless distraction and feeling isolated and disconnected.

As parents, grandparents, and teachers, we are increasingly alarmed. We entice, cajole, bribe, shout and still they won't emerge from their caves. We are fearful that they will not unfold into thoughtful, productive adults. Will they remain odd basement dwellers forever? Join Robin for a look at what is going on in these teenage brains and what we can do to unlock these common parent-teen dynamics and help them bounce back and mature into emotionally healthy adults.

Session 2B
Helping Children Living with Disability and Support Needs to Flourish

Karen Bollman

Karen Bollman has spent her entire career supporting families raising children, youth and adults with special needs. Her current focus is on early intervention, supporting families and their little ones as an Infant Development Consultant with Inclusion Langley Society. Karen has studied extensively with the Neufeld Institute where she is now currently a course facilitator and a faculty intern, working closely with Dr. Neufeld and the Academic Dean, Tamara Strijack. Dr. Neufeld’s paradigm, and working with individuals from birth through the lifespan, has taught Karen that growth is never too late when connection and play are at the heart.

What is required for children living with disability or support needs to flourish? What is required of their caregivers, teachers, parents? How can we use Nature and play to foster true independence? In this session, we will explore how play provides us with the conditions where life skills can be practiced, where conditions are most conducive for true learning, where emotions can be expressed without repercussion, and where maturation is primed.

Session 3
The Loss of Wellbeing - a problem of disorder or defence?

Deborah MacNamara

Deborah MacMamara is a clinical counsellor and educator with more than 25 years’ experience working with children, youth, and adults. She is on faculty at the Neufeld Institute, operates a counselling practice, and speaks regularly about child and adolescent development to parents, childcare providers, educators, and mental health professionals. She is also the author of the best-selling book Rest, Play, Grow: Making Sense of Preschoolers (Or Anyone Who Acts LikeOne), a children's picture book The Sorry Plane, and her new book, Nourished: Connection, Food, and Caring for our Kids (and everyone else we love). Deborah resides in Vancouver, Canada with her husband and two children. www.macnamara.ca

How can we make sense of a struggling child or teen who might be displaying behaviours and symptoms that are getting in the way of their wellbeing and flourishing? Have we missed something important as we chase and count behaviours? Is there more than meets the eye and what could we do with this new way of seeing beyond the behaviour?

The role of emotional defence is not well understood as to its impact on health and well-being. Come walk around the latest science on emotional defence based in attachment science, developmental psychology, and neuroscience.

Session 1: KEYNOTE
Helping Children Flourish Through Play

Tamara Strijack

Tamara Strijack, MA is a Registered Clinical Counsellor who lives and works in the Vancouver Island area. She is co-author (with Hannah Beach) of the book, Reclaiming our Students: Why our children are more anxious, aggressive and shut down than ever, and what we can do about it. Tamara has worked with children and adolescents in various roles over the last thirty years. She is currently the Academic Dean of the Neufeld Institute, where she develops and delivers courses on child development for parents, teachers and helping professionals. She is a keynote speaker, workshop facilitator, and educator of counsellors and educators in training. Tamara works primarily as a parent and educational consultant, helping put adults back in the driver’s seat in a way that facilitates growth and learning for the child. Connection, relationship and play continue to be central themes in all her roles, both personally and professionally. www.tamarastrijack.ca

With all of today’s pressure to perform and obsessions with outcome, we have lost our way as to what is actually essential for learning, growth and emotional health. Neuroscience is currently confirming what many have known intuitively in years past: that true play is a key element in creating the conditions our children need to flourish. We have taken a wrong turn in trivializing play, and we now need to figure out how to bring it back in order to make our way forward.

In this session, Tamara Strijack will explore how play relates to attachment, development and emotional health, as well as how we can practically facilitate play in the lives of our children.

Session 2A
Mastering the Couple Dance: Parenting in alarming times

Michele Maurer

Michele has 30 years experience providing counselling for individuals, couples and families, in mental health care and non-profit organisations. With a focus on relationships, Michele works with couples, parents, expectant and newly parenting couples in her private practice in Langley, British Columbia. Michele is a Parent Consultant, a leader with the Neufeld virtual campus support team, and a member of Faculty. Michele enjoys facilitating Neufeld Institute courses to parent and professional groups both online and in person.

What does it mean to master the "couple dance"? In the simplest terms, we take care of each other and answer each other's need for connection in adulthood. Masterfully done, this reciprocal, relational home base provides a sustainable source of fulfillment and rest that also delivers conditions conducive to the optimal growth of children, even amid alarming circumstances.

Explore how Dr. Neufeld's Roots of Attachment and the complimentary Alpha and Dependent instincts apply to adult couple relationships, particularly when a twosome becomes a three or "moresome". Gain insight about common "couple dance" missteps and how couples can master the transition to an enduring and fulfilling parenthood dance with the power to support flourishing as a family. This workshop is suitable to parents, grandparents, caregivers and helping professionals.

Session 2B
The Principles of Flourishing in Schools

Adrienne Wood

Adrienne Wood is the Neufeld Institute's Regional Director in New Zealand. She is a former High School teacher and lecturer in Human Development. She currently runs her own practice, Heartsync NZ. Heartsync supports New Zealand parents and professionals to understand complex and challenging adolescent behaviour from a Neufeld-informed relational developmental approach. Adrienne continues to learn more about adolescent development daily through parenting her own teens, and in her role as a Neufeld Institute faculty member.

What are the principles of helping children flourish in the school environment when there is so much to alarm them in recent times? Tune in to hear Adrienne interview respected school Principals on the principles of helping children flourish in alarming times.

Each school leader will share their learning and experience on leading students with warmth and playfulness through alarming times using their training in the Neufeld paradigm to incorporate these ideas into the fabric of their work.

Session 3
From Theory to Practice

Sandy Hitchens

Sandy is on faculty with the Neufeld Institute and is a member of the Neufeld Aotearoa team. She works as a counsellor, supervisor and parent consultant through her private practice and in primary schools in Christchurch. Sandy enjoys opportunities to teach and present courses and workshops based on Dr Neufeld’s attachment- developmental approach for parents and professionals. She loves to spend time with her husband and 4 adult children and enjoys walking, drinking good coffee and planning adventures.

How can we best work to support wellbeing and maturation in our children rather than against it? Once we have the insight of what a child might need in order to flourish, it can guide us as to how we, as the adults, can best take care of them and help them.

In this closing session, Sandy will turn our eyes to some practical ways for parents and professionals to help  children to flourish in an alarming world.

Adrienne Wood
A Caring Lead with Teens

Adrienne Wood

Adrienne Wood is the Neufeld Institute's Regional Director in New Zealand. She is a former High School teacher and lecturer in Human Development. She currently runs her own practice, Heartsync NZ. Heartsync supports New Zealand parents and professionals to understand complex and challenging adolescent behaviour from a Neufeld-informed relational developmental approach. Adrienne continues to learn more about adolescent development daily through parenting her own teens, and in her role as a Neufeld Institute faculty member.www.cflerepere.ca), where he strives to provide direct and accessible quality clinical services.

Part of the developmental role of adolescents is for them to find their own voice. However, what if their own "voice" turns out to be one that is diametrically opposed to our own hopes, ideas and dreams for them? And what happens when a strong dose of alpha energy is added to the mix? Adrienne will discuss ideas born of her own experience, of when we should let go, and when we should hold on to preserve a caring lead with our near grown-up kids. She will also discuss how a healthy dose of play can lend a hand to right relationship complete with playful ideas you can try at home.

Sandy Hitchens
Reaching Troubled Kids

Sandy Hitchens

Sandy lives in Christchurch, New Zealand. She is married with four adult children. Sandy is a counsellor who specializes in working with children and their families in both school settings and through private practice. She has over 20 years of experience working with children and youth through church-based programs and groups.

Whether we are working in a therapeutic role or in a school, we often find ourselves working with children who present with a range of challenging behaviours and symptoms. This might include the child who is withdrawn and struggles to engage, a child who is troubled with many worries and fears, or maybe a child who has trouble with issues of aggression or self-attack. At times, we can struggle to even find a way in to connect with them, let alone being able to offer any support or direction to them. Yet, these kids desperately need to be reached and connected with, somehow.

This seminar will turn our eyes to see what is happening for these kids underneath the behaviours and symptoms they present with. This will lead us into discussing what is most needed, in our work with them, and the powerful role that play can have in taking care of them.

Deborah MacNamara
Addressing Bullying

Deborah MacNamara

Deborah MacMamara is a clinical counsellor and educator with more than 25 years’ experience working with children, youth, and adults. She is on faculty at the Neufeld Institute, operates a counselling practice, and speaks regularly about child and adolescent development to parents, childcare providers, educators, and mental health professionals. She is also the author of the best-selling book Rest, Play, Grow: Making Sense of Preschoolers (Or Anyone Who Acts LikeOne), a children's picture book The Sorry Plane, and her new book, Nourished: Connection, Food, and Caring for our Kids (and everyone else we love). Deborah resides in Vancouver, Canada with her husband and two children. www.macnamara.ca

Bullying is an age-old problem with a new face in today’s increasingly digital world. Cyber bullies are now replacing playground bullies at an alarming rate and the need to protect our kids is great. Efforts to curb bullying are failing and children are being wounded at the hands of their peers like never before. Protecting our children from bullies is possible when we understand the modus operandi driving bullies, how to thwart attacks, and guide our children through situations where bullies are involved. Parents and educators often feel helpless to protect children from bullies but there is much we can do to address this age-old problem.

Eva de Gosztonyi
A Caring Lead with School Systems

Eva de Gosztonyi

Eva de Gosztonyi is a psychologist who has worked for over 40 years in schools across Canada. She has been a member of the Faculty of the Neufeld Institute since 2007. Eva also works with the ten English School Boards of Quebec, helping them to understand how best to interact with children with significant behavioural challenges. Eva believes that educators can foster the natural processes of development in their interactions and attachments with students in the classroom and in the school. In her presentations, Eva weaves together theory and practice, learning and behaviour, to help those who work with children apply Dr. Neufeld’s paradigm so that they can effectively help children and youth become the best that they can be.

Some students require more support than what the classroom teacher alone can provide. This is when the school team steps in to respond to the situation, especially for a student experiencing emotional or behavioural challenges. With limited time and resources, school teams are often hard-pressed to respond to all the needs. Over the years, as I accompanied schools with these challenges, it became clear that it would be better to anticipate and prevent situations rather than just “put out fires.” Together with school teams at both the primary and secondary levels, my colleagues and I developed in-school alternatives to help these students. These initiatives were implemented and fine-tuned over a number of years.

Nurturing Support Centres are locales within a school that allow those students who are unable to function in the regular classroom at certain times of the day to remain in school and continuing their academic learning under the supervision of a caring adult. Emotions Rooms were created to allow students who have frequent emotional explosions to do so in a safe space accompanied by an adult who can welcome their frustration and help them to find their tears. Nurturing Support Centres and Emotions Rooms were inspired by the Neufeld attachment-based developmental paradigm and are trauma responsive. Over the years they have been shown to make a big difference in the lives of students and adults alike.

Colleen Drobot
You're Not the Boss of Me!

Colleen Drobot

Colleen Drobot is a registered professional counsellor with a private practice in North Vancouver. She provides therapy for adults and also offers parent consulting using a developmental, attachment-based approach. She also works with school districts and other professionals to help make sense of children and adolescents. She is an educator with over 20 years’ experience working with children in the regular classroom or in special needs settings. She is an adjunct faculty member of the Neufeld Institute and has worked with Dr. Gordon Neufeld for many years. Colleen is a mother of two and draws from her personal as well as professional experience to support parents and professionals in gaining insight, opening their hearts, and leading by their intuition.

A common dynamic that is often frustrating to adults and can potentially erode the adult/child relationship is when a child balks and defies us. It can be as subtle as ignoring our requests or as blatant as telling us "You're not the boss of me!" When parents, teachers or other caregivers ask the child to clean up, get ready to transition, be kind, or do a task, they may be met with the child ignoring them, saying "No!" or the child may in fact do the opposite. Although the reaction is quite normal and even healthy in certain circumstances, its manifestations and impact can be highly disruptive, making life difficult to guide a child.

In this presentation, Colleen will discuss the meaning of this deep-rooted instinct and the dynamics that control its existence and expression. Colleen will provide strategies to help adults reduce the effects of oppositional behaviour and gain cooperation with children. She will also focus on how to deepen the attachment between adult and child to diffuse oppositionality.